A Most Ingenious Pair of Docs
by kitsunealyc
Summary: .Complete. It takes more than one Time Lord to pierce the void. Lucky for Rose, there are two who are willing to take the risk NineRoseTen


Check out that title. Man, I amuse myself.

I don't own anything except a complete selection of the works of Gilbert & Sullivan, but I'd love a two-for-one Doctor special

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A Most Ingenious Pair of Docs 

Part Θ

Rose Tyler tossed her purse onto a small secretary and slipped off her heels with a sigh. The rest of her flat was dark, but warm light filled the entry as she flipped a switch and began shucking her coat, hat and scarf. The days at Torchwood were long and not particularly rewarding, but they were a welcome break from the screaming silence of her flat and the melancholy recesses of her own mind. Sometimes when she was working at Torchwood, whole minutes passed by where she didn't think about the Doctor, didn't think about how she would never see him again, didn't think about the final words that he never got the chance to say. Desultorily she hung up her coat.

She was just about to enter the main room and switch on the telly when a sound broke the silence. It was minor, miniscule even. Maybe the scuff of a shoe on the floor, or the whisper of fabric against a wall. It was more a shift in the air than a sound, but Rose found herself instantly reacting with her Torchwood training. She was reaching for the self-defense tazer she kept in her purse when the living room lamp flicked on. The bag and its contents clattered to the floor, and she found herself struggling to breathe, blinking to clear her vision, damning the hope that suddenly flooded her chest.

"Hello," said the tawny-haired man in pinstripes and trainers who was sitting casually on her sofa.

"Hello," said the brooding, blue-eyed man in battered leather, leaning against her fireplace mantel.

"Hello," Rose replied weakly. She put her hand to her head, hearing a sudden high-pitched buzzing in her ears. The edges of her vision began to go white.

"Oi, none of that," her first Doctor strode forward, catching her by the elbows as her knees seemed to give out. He turned angrily to her second Doctor, who had risen with a look of concern on his more open features, "I told you we should have broken it to her more gently."

"And I agreed," said the tawny-haired Doctor, "but then you insisted that **you** should be the one…oh, nevermind. Here, let's get her sitting." He came to her other side and the two Doctors gently maneuvered her to the sofa, sandwiching her between them as they all sat. The men glared at each other over her head, but she hardly regarded it.

"Breathe," her first Doctor instructed quietly.

"Don't be daft. Rose, put your head between your knees. Like this," her second Doctor demonstrated, "should be easy for you. You're a limber girl. Remember that time on—"

"Do you **ever** stop talking?"

Her second Doctor opened his mouth, probably to give her first Doctor a long-winded and meandering set-down. Rose pushed both of them back slightly, one hand in the middle of each chest.

"Stop it. The both of you. Just…" she looked between them, still hardly able to believe they were there despite the fact that she could feel cool, fabric-covered flesh beneath each hand. Her first Doctor's chest was firm, solid, unyielding. Her second Doctor's softer, more pliant, inviting. She shook her head to clear it.

"Who…what…," she wasn't even sure which questions to ask, finally settled on one of many, "How did you get here?"

The Doctors glared at each other over her head again, as if both of them wanted to tell her and neither was willing to yield. Finally, her first Doctor narrowed his eyes and nodded to the second.

"It was my idea," her second Doctor said, "I tried so many ways to get back to you, to get across the Void. My people used to do it all the time, I thought there must be some way…but everything I found required more than one Time Lord. And then I realized…" he looked up then at his other self, all his antagonism drained away. Rose's eyes widened with comprehension. It was exactly what she thought it was. They were the same man, and that meant…

"Doesn't this create a paradox or something?" whispered, still gazing in appalled wonder at her second Doctor. He met her eyes and the love in them was plain for her to see.

"Just a little one. Hardly worth mentioning, as these things go."

She held his gaze for just a moment longer, then turned to her first Doctor, "And you…you helped him…you both…do this? You agreed to this?" She could well believe that her second Doctor had conceived a plan like this. He had always been reckless and impetuous beyond belief. Always leaping blindly without looking or thinking. But her first Doctor…well, he hadn't been any less daring, but he'd at least been more considered in his actions, most of the time. His gaze was steady, firm…and filled with the same love that she saw in the other Doctor's eyes.

"I did," he said.

She felt her breath escape her, and for a moment she couldn't take any air back in. It was like her lungs had collapsed. Then autonomous function returned with a deep, gasping inhalation. Both Doctors were looking at her with equal concern, as if she might break. She wasn't quite sure that she wouldn't.

"What…what happens now? Will there be Reapers?" She glanced tentatively around, as if she expected them to phase into being in the vaulted ceiling of her loft.

"No! No, no, no, no, not, no, nah…well…" her second Doctor sputtered in a long series of denials.

"No," her first Doctor cut in, "I…he was careful to construct a closed time loop scenario to come and get me, so that we could find you. I may be rather pretty in my next regeneration, but I'm not stupid."

"Thank you," said her second Doctor. Then he seemed to recall his former regeneration's opinion of Rose's pretty boys, "That was…was that rude? It was rude. I thought I was the rude one."

Rose wasn't sure if they meant it to be, but their gentle back and forth sniping was having a reassuring effect. It somehow seemed very right that her two Doctors would squabble, that they wouldn't quite get along. A hundred buried fantasies of them, singularly and together, suddenly sprung unbidden to her mind, and she began to flush in embarrassment. Here she was being reunited with the love…er…loves of her life, and all she could think about was…

"Tea!" she bounced up from the sofa, "I can make tea. Would you like tea?"

"Rose," both Doctors had risen with her, still positioned on either side. For a moment she wasn't sure which one had spoken. Then her mind clicked. Low burr, northern accent, her first Doctor.

"Look," began the second, "we know this is…"

"Awkward," supplied the first.

"_Unexpected_. And we're sorry for that. But this was the only way, and we—"

"This isn't how I imagined it," Rose whispered. She could feel her throat tightening with tears. She looked into the warm brown eyes of her second Doctor, "this…seeing you again. I never stopped hoping, but I thought…I thought…"

His brown coat was pushed back, hands jammed into his trouser pockets. It was a familiar posture, the one he always took when he was feeling exposed and vulnerable. She wanted to take his hand and comfort him, tell him it was okay, but she was too aware of her first Doctor standing on her other side.

"You thought it would be perfect," her second Doctor was saying, "Seeing each other from afar. A mad dash. A sweeping, breathtaking hug. A soul-wrenching kiss. A proper reunion?"

"Yeah," her voice was small.

"But we can have that, Rose. Don't you see? Oh, maybe not all the trappings," he waved the invisible trappings away with his hand, "but believe me, you're not missing much. Ever had your soul wrenched? Not nearly so pleasant as you might expect. I remember—"

"But we can't. I…" she guiltily turned towards the other Doctor, who was still regarding her patiently.

"Rose," her first Doctor said, cupping her cheek gently in his palm, "I don't expect a happy reunion. Meeting him," he nodded at her second Doctor, who had fallen silent, "I know what that means, and I suppose so do you. At least, you do now. But I think you might not have done when it happened. And I'm betting it happened…is going to happen, quick. This is a closed time-loop. I have to go back to when I left. Alone. So I'm not here for a reunion," his other hand came up to frame her face, "I'm here for goodbye."

He leaned forward slowly, and she felt her body tense, attenuate, all her being concentrated on her lips as he…

His lips brushed hers gently, cool and firm. The kiss was so light, so inadequate to the deep yearning she'd always felt for him. She tilted her head, swaying into him, wanting more than this breathless, tentative touch. He responded to her wanting, shifting his body closer to hers. His mouth met hers more firmly with his second kiss, hands trailing down to her shoulders, nudging her arms to wrap around him. The brush of lips turned to teeth, then tongues. His hands settled at her waist, pulling her against him. Her own hands bunched around battered leather. Her skin felt so hot, doubly so compared to his coolness. Where they touched she could feel her warmth stealing into him. She deepened the kiss and pressed herself more fully to him, wanting to suffuse him with her heat. He groaned low in his throat and pulled his mouth away, pressing kisses to her cheeks, eyelids, forehead, before tucking her into his chest and holding her tightly. She felt the tension soothe into a deep sense of comfort, of homecoming. It made her want to cry for happiness.

"How's that soul of yours doing?"

Somewhat self-consciously, she lifted her head to glance back at her second Doctor. His gaze was hooded and enigmatic, but a small smile played around his lips. Her first Doctor loosened his hold on her slightly, letting her pull away, but he kept her loosely encased in his arms.

"I think I might have twisted it. Just a bit," she smiled sheepishly.

"Let me take a look," he stepped forward, and his arms wrapped around her as her first Doctor's fell away. She was struck by a certain surreality as his lips met hers. He was still smiling slightly, and she couldn't help but smile back as the absurdity of the situation suddenly struck her. They smiled between kisses, her hands lightly resting on his shoulders. Then the kisses became deeper, more exploratory. He really had the most amazing tongue. He seemed to be tasting her like she was the most delicious, exotic delicacy. Her hands crept up to his hair, mussing around in it. His hands slid down to her bum, playfully pulling her against him. She broke the kiss with a laugh and he joined her merriment, dark eyes twinkling roguishly. He was definitely a little bit foxy.

"You look with your eyes," she heard her first Doctor grumble behind her. Her second Doctor grinned at him over her head.

"You may. My tongue is definitely my strongest sensory organ."

"It's true," she affirmed, pulling slightly away and trying to defuse the situation, although her first Doctor looked more peeved than angry, "He's got a regular oral fixation. Goes around licking everything. Walls. Aliens. One time I walked in on him giving the TARDIS console a tongue-bath."

"I told you, I just spilled some tea."

"I don't want to know," her first Doctor pronounced.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she was immediately concerned over her mistake, "I should have thought. I shouldn't be talking about your future, right?"

"That too," he grinned, "but mostly I just don't want to know."

All three of them began chuckling. As the laughter died along with much of the tension that she'd been feeling, Rose realized that the only way to overcome the elephant in the room was to tackle it head on.

"This," she glanced between them, blushing and hoping she wasn't being presumptuous, "the three of us, tonight. Is this something I should be embarrassed about?"

"Well, you could do, I suppose," her second Doctor answered after glancing at his past self, "but really, what's the point? We have to get back, have to get **him** back as soon as we can. We only have until morning before the TARDIS can be ready to pierce the Void again. You'll just be wasting time with false modesty that we could be spending more enjoyably. I could tell you that you don't have to worry because we're the same man, and it's true enough, but the real matter is that I don't think either of us would agree to leave you alone with the other. So as they say, it's all or nothing."

"It's your choice, Rose," her first Doctor said gravely.

She looked between them. It might not be every girl's fantasy, but it had definitely been one of hers, an impossible pairing of the old and the new that she had always thought was even more far-fetched than her regular, run-of-the-mill fantasies about the Doctor.

"All," she said, taking each Doctor by the hand, "Definitely all."

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Note: There is an NC-17 continuation of this on my personal livejournal site, but unfortunately I may not post it here. The link is on my author's profile.


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